She is here

By now you all have heard that the little lady who changed my life was born yesterday.

It is such an profoundly amazing experience that I am here blankly staring at the screen thinking what could I write that would do justice to becoming father. Not easy, not possible I think. There are not many days in the life that compare, and this just might take the top position.

Amazing range of emotions. From being unable to help the pain of your loved one, to witnessing the miracle of here she comes (it felt like there should have been a sound effect of "plop" when she just came out - but I was in such a haze that there just might have been, I would not have noticed). From first time holding your own child in your arms, to utter helplessness when she is screaming her lungs out when you try to comfort her. From the elation when you stop to think about it all, to the major dizziness in your head when you try to stop to think about it a little bit harder. From the slight annoyance at non-perfect (although very good) hospital staff and bad food, to the joint struggles of getting her to feed properly and not having a clue. From the nagging feeling in the back of the mind that I need to get work things in order to be able to properly take time off, to the bad conscience of whether I am not doing the right thing by going home to sleep and leaving the mom and the baby in hospital. From the feelings of warmth reading congratulations, to the pure joy when she falls quiet and asleep in your arms for the first time.

And yes, the pain that I caused myself by burning my mouth yesterday night by stuffing too hot pizza in without really paying any attention to what i was doing.

I would like to thank you all so much for all the messages of congratulations. It is an amazing amount of great friends that we have been lucky to accumulate over the years. And yes, it is good that you all agree that she is the most beautiful baby ever. Right?

The reference pictures will all be stored at http://www.twango.com/search/vsammalk.

She is coming home tomorrow. I have already noticed that despite all the preparations, readings, guidance, and smarts, you are a complete novice and have to learn to take care of this new life from scratch. Little by little. Mistake by mistake. Success by success. It is scary that she will be completely dependent on us (and that we'll be dependent on her to allow us any sleep). But we'll make it, I am sure. A really amazing journey has begun.