"Who is here of their free will?"

That was a joke, but I guess it still reflects on the below surface attitudes - and realities, to be honest - of child rearing. When the child birth class in White Plains hospital started last Saturday, this was the breaking the ice thing. Mothers, please tell your name and your due date, and fathers, please tell your name and whether you are here of your free will. Yes, yes, actually it was quite funny and everyone, me including, made cute jokes when answering. No hard feelings. But to even joke about it seems like looking down on fathers. I mean, who in their right mind would NOT want to be there voluntarily?

OK, down from the soapbox. It was actually a very good class. Having been reared up in the Finnish system and with a Finnish mindset, some American behaviors can be a tad frustrating, more than a little amusing, or just unpleasant. Not many, but there are some differences. This time, the experience was better than I had been expected (see a previous post for some hints of the expectations levels).

First, the nurse giving the class was of a blessedly no nonsense -type. Let's talk about things how they are, give people some straight answers et cetera. All right. Second, I actually really learned a lot. It was close to useless for Maria, who of course knew everything to the detail already (and asked a few tough questions, containing the word "molecule" for example, which confused the dear teacher :-). But me, I of course know quite some about giving birth, but now the blanks have been filled very well, and I know what REALLY happens. The five births showed on film made it extremely concrete as well. And they sure were not censored in any way. It is just purely amazing to see a baby being born on a film, so much that I know very certanly how incredible it will be experiencing it soon first hand. Let's just hope for a relatively easy experience, shall we.

The third good thing was to take a good tour of the maternity ward of the hospital. Very nice. Can you believe the delivery rooms actually have wooden paneling and cabinets (looked like beech to me), very nice and comfy chairs and so on. Good stuff. And the staff seemed to be nice and competent - and now I also know what to do and where to take her when the signs are right. And I have been reminded of the right timing of contractions as well...

PS. The most hilarious thing: the unnatural obsession with bodily functions of the mother. We were shown schematic pictures of the baby inside the mom at several development stages. And everytime, the teacher had to show the bladder. "Look how small it is. Now you know why you need to go to the bathroom all the time". Second, there was a very earnest concern that the new fathers should not mention to the visiting dignitaries (family, friends etc...) if the wife happens to have had a bowel movement during labor. (I think the usage of "bowel movement" is more commonplace than I had expected. Funny that I had not met the expression before in my over 20 years of learning English). We were told that it is not very good idea to make jokes about that kind of stuff, and by the way it is completely natural and most women go through it anyway. But... why on Earth would you have to even mention this kind of stuff? Are there REALLY men who would joke about such stuff? If yes, they should not be allowed to have kids in the first place (and maybe after the jokes will not have wifes much longer either...)

PS2 I have also been reminded of the breath in - breath out technique :-). With a martial arts background, I definately do know about the benefits of good breathing. So I am ready for coaching at least on this front, though I still do not like the term birth coach. Well, let's go with the flow.

Shopping has been successful. Next time more on that!