Again, a week in Finland behind me, and, again, quite a few baby related conversations with quite a few (mostly) fathers of young kids. After a careful analysis, I can tell that these people fall into exactly two classes, which have one big thing in common. Here goes:
First, when you tell someone that yeah, actually, there is a baby coming, the response is invariably the same: a big smile, with a comment of something like "that is so great!". After witnessing this all over, I believe in the goodness of mankind. Anyway, the second step, invariably, after confirming that this is indeed the first kid, is a comment on "oh man, your life is going to change", or "it is going to be really different for you guys", or something like that. Then, people (fathers) fall into the two categories: the first folks leave it at that, and go into other subjects, the second category leans back in their chair and gets a little bit of dreamy look in their eyes, and repeats a couple of times "oh yes, it really will be different", and/or "it is going to be so great for you guys". The second type guys can often have a smile on their face when they see mee also in the course of the following days.
Beyond that, they do not say much, at least not without engaging in a conversation on some specific topic like cars or strollers or raising girls or paternity leaves or whatnot.
I find it hard to REALLY know what to expect of the life with the baby. I mean, I know it will be different. Yes. I have loads of friends and even family with small kids. I read. I think about it. I talk about it. I blog. Some people even comment. But still, I feel that for the father it will be a relatively abstract thing, all the way until that moment when in the hospital you are given that little human being to hold in your arms for the first time. Then it hits. This is it. For the rest of the life. Shit.
On the expectations front, thank you to Harri for expectations management by providing a hardcopy intro into the Baby Blues comic. (http://www.babyblues.com/). Now I am really scared.
Further, still around what to expect, we spent time this weekend attending Birth Classes, quality of which was actually above my expectations. I need to write more on that at another time.
4 comments:
Tuntuupa tutulta nuo mietiskelysi; kävimme läpi samoja asioita 31 vuotta sitten. Olimme täysin vakuuttuneita siitä, että lapsen syntymisen jälkee elämä tulee muuttumaan ja olimme siihen niin valmiit kuin kaksi onnellista vauvaa odottavaa vanhempaa voi vain olla. Emme kuitenkaan kyenneet kuvittelemaan etukäteen, miltä se muutos tuntuu. Ja tuntuihan se. Minulla on kuitenkin vahva usko teihin ja kykyynne selvitä tilanteesta. Motiivia lisää varmasti anopin lupaus tulla tarvittaessa avuksi - vaikka pitempääkin.
Kiitoksia luottamuksesta! Ja lupauksesta. Vai... onko tämä nyt uhkaus, en ole ihan varma...?
You just go with the flow. And try not to stress too much and enjoy more. At the end, being a parent is quite simple. You have it in your heart, Ville.
Huh, anoppi on vakavana. Ei kannata huolehtia osaako anoppi käyttäytyä. Se rakastuu vauvaan niin silmittömästi että tekee mitä vaan. Tapasin just puistossa mummon joka oli hoitanut poikansa lapsia jenkeissä kunnes ne oli 6 kk ja sitten ne vasta meni muualle hoitoon. Aika hieno lahja pojalleen siltä mummolta, sanoisin. :-) Terveisiä anopille kans.
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